[ Wednesday, October 18, 2006 ]
oh great my results are out.i passed everything except maths.nothing new i guess.but i think i was kinda disappointed wif all my marks.never mind.i will harder next year.AND PROVE TO HER I CAN DO WELL.
i think im going to have an interesting holiday to look forward too.maybe i'll highlight my hair,and pluck my eyebrows,and buy coloured contacts,and i need to SLIM DOWN.im full of fats and i eat too much carbs.so from now on its gonna be a total fruit and water diet for me.yes i need to remove my fats from my already fat body.
and you know i think im handling the situation perfectly.im so not thinking about her anymore.i rely mess and think less about her.and its good.i think i dont hurt so much that way,cos theres nothin good to look forward to.but then again,sometimes i think im just hurting myself even more by keeping myself in from her and the others.but doesnt care aymore so whats the point in something that goes one way huh?doesnt make sense.
anyway,here i go,the accident prone-no CG girl,my left ankle's ruined again.i feel during ballet,Nathan and i were trying out step ups for the dance,and we were doing okaye until some other guy came out into the wrong stage and wrong timing,and he fell with me over him and i couldnt let myself step onto his head so i tried to avoid it but his hand swung out and hit my ankle off balance and now its totally crooked.yucks.you know what this means?NO MORE skating,urghh!love of my life.and no more chinese dance.miss tan says i've to be prepared not to take part in SYF.i cant accept it.i just cant.
oh and anyone heard the song 'angels brought me here'?its a beautiful song.try it.
The Silent Dancer
last danced @
[ 3:30 AM ]
[ Thursday, October 12, 2006 ]
give me a freaking break.
good things and intentions are NEVER repaid.
i went over to my mum's centre to help out today wif dance and making of the props for the concert.and all the little ones were uber hungry and tired.so my jie jie asked me to pour 3/4 cup horlicks for them.and that was EXACTLY what i did.and then my stupid grandmother working there started screaming at me when i asked her for more drink for them since it was finished.and she just started screaming at me for everything.WHY?WHY?I CANNOT understand what i did wrong.i cannot.i was just helping out.thats just it.and jie jie was like''next time round you dont help to serve la hoh?haha.''right.maybe it was a joke but it hurts okaye.
nothin i do ever pleases anyone.im just the uber dyke.
today's rehearsel was fone.whatever la.im just so totally in no mood.leave me ALONE.
The Silent Dancer
last danced @
[ 7:51 AM ]
[ Tuesday, October 10, 2006 ]
yipee yah yah.yippee yippee yah!!i am so goddamn drop dead relieved.happy ecstatic.WHATEVER.the horrid sickening,out to kill me exams are so over!!!finally god i thought this day wouldnt come.yes and now im over at my jie jie's house having a sleepover.and i finally went SKATING today.oh god the ice felt so good.heehee.i so totally missed it.
anyway tomorrow pl,xy and i are off to bugis is it?or is it tampanis?argh.however you spell it.anyway,i hope its fun.=)
fri's grad day for all the sec 4's and 5's.and im doing emcee.like why?everyones totally sick of my face.get someone else tht looks fresher la.oh whatever.and i haven even got my script yet.hmm see.again.last minute work.never mind,i'll just do what i can.
sat-8 to 11.im going off to is it jurong primary to market fuhua.they want us to write something abt how fuhua has been a special place to me.any ideas anybody?help?
and mum and dad are going to malaysia on fri.i don get to go.its okaye.i'll find better things to do.
and the best thing of all im totally looking forward too is my trip to the USA in dec.oh god.i so totally waited my whole life for this.we'll be going there from the 17 to the 27 i think.and it'll be snowing there.we'll go to los angeles first,then denver where we'll spend christmas at a ski lodge.yayness:] and then back to somewhere and then back home.i think i'll get to see my cousins there.all boys so yucks.but its worth the trip.anyway i think thats abt it.todlee loo.
The Silent Dancer
last danced @
[ 7:56 AM ]
[ Monday, September 25, 2006 ]
its thurs,and im bloody sick of my life.its the total pits.u know what?whats the POINT in studying when u get nothing out of it.i put in the effort to strudy and yet nobody recognises it,i still fail.and NOBODY cares.
i know nobody cares.
we had 4 tests today and okaye la,i bet i failed EVERY SINGLE one of them again.but whats new huh?im the useless bitch born to fail in life.dont bother contradicting me.i know thats who i am.
and u know what squid,maybe i was wrong about you all along.i dont think there was ever you and me as friends,or whatever u think we were.i dont think u care anymore,and i just want to forget you.just like you said.''teachers tend to have the teacher instinct,maybe thats why im distant sometimes.im sorry''
well gues what?u dont have to be.i understand how u feel now,and although it hurts,whatever.who cares?u're just another one of those people whom i loved,and then went and tore my heart up into pieces again.its nothing new to me.im so used to it.im just gonna forget you,forget everything i loved.
like-goodbye to you,goodbye to everything i knew,goodbye to everything i loved.
The Silent Dancer
last danced @
[ 7:57 AM ]
[ Friday, September 22, 2006 ]
i feel kind of lost.i dont know why.i
its like i feel empty and what everyone says,it doesnt hurt anymore.
today i think many people changed they're way of thought on everything that happened.and maybe so did i.i admit that i dont really think kah yan was the one who tagged on my blog cos the language used doesnt really seem like hers.
about my chem file and wb,i dont know.and u know what?i dont want to know.
im sorry if i hurt anyone in school today,i wasn't feeling very happy.
to amanda-hey,im sorry i burst out at you and accused you for thinking it was me who did everything.its just that i felt u were kind of cold towards me as u were whispering things to kah yan.and u kept giving me the cold shoulder.and u didnt share anything with me.and im sorry for saying something hurtful like that if that wasnt really what u were thinking.
i think that i'll follow what xuebing says,leave the matter be.if its done,its done.and i'll just move on.i'll learn to pick myself up and start afresh.theres no point in me brooding on whats already happened.
to everyone out there again who has helped.thanks so much for your help,i couldnt have done it without you.
so,thats about it.this is gonna be my last entry on what has happened.its over,and its time i moved on.
The Silent Dancer
last danced @
[ 5:17 AM ]
[ Thursday, September 21, 2006 ]
and today you went and ruined my physics wb.thanks so much for doing that.that was so nice of you and i titally appreciate it.
u know what?u should really try doing somehting like that to yourself.it doesnt feel good.i dont know how you manage to go around acting as if there's nothing wrong.THERE IS SOMEThNG WRONG woman.and u need to start realising u're hurting alot of people.
i really wonder how miss lee feels about all this going on.do u feel angry?sad?disturbed?or does this mean nothing to you really.i mean ya i really want to know.i know i feel like breaking down evrytime something like this happens.i just hold back the falling tears so i can prove to you im stronger than you think.
well guess what?im not gonna let you get to me,you can try as much as you want.but i know the only thing u want to happen is to break people up and to hurt them more.so that everyone doesnt have friends.grow up whoever you are.FIND friends.EARN them.and LOVE them.u dont go around hurting them.u hurt me.u DISGUST ME.im really feel sick when i see you doing such things.
The Silent Dancer
last danced @
[ 5:27 AM ]
[ Wednesday, September 20, 2006 ]
i've got enough.really,im so sick of going anywhere and seeing tags about me from kah yan.and other people backing me up but getting rude remarks.enough.i've cried for the past 3 hours.my eyes are swollen and teary and im shit tired and demoralised.
i dont know how squid feels and whether she still loves me.its stupid.im easily swayed.
well guess what?i was never strong.so leave me along and get lost.i cant take it anymore.
The Silent Dancer
last danced @
[ 7:11 AM ]
]
you know what?you call me a goddamn whore,well u're not ANY BETTER.i hate you i hate you i HATE YOU.
you could do anything to me but u had to tear my CHEMISTRY FILE.you knew damn well how much that meant to me,how much effort i put in all the time to get it properly packed and decorated.you ruined it into pieces.i hate YOU.
you go to hell and don ever come back.i'll never forgive you.I HATE YOU FOREVER.
urghh.i feel like crying im so infuriated and URGHH!!that its ruined.it was my HARD WORK.on of the things i put effort into.why cant you just leave me alone?go pick on somebody YOUR SIZE.
but to all the friends who accompanied me the whole way,thanks so much.i love ya guys so much.=)
The Silent Dancer
last danced @
[ 4:29 AM ]
